Edited by Dr. Silvina Galperin, C. Psych.
Psychologists and people in general have pondered an age-old question for many years: Can a person change their personality? If so, how long will this change last? While psychologists have long remained split on this subject, recent research has found evidence that supports the possibility that personality traits can change through consistent and persistent intervention and meaningful life events. The personality traits considered are known as “the Big Five”, which are:
- Openness to experience
- Conscientiousness
- Extroversion
- Agreeableness
- Neuroticism
The recent findings show that personality traits are both stable and changeable over time. So, if you are a person that wishes to be more extroverted in your friendships or wishes to be more conscientious, have no fear! Your personality can change, you just need to put in the work. Here are some essential tips to change your personality over time:
Take small steps to change your personality
Ever heard of the saying, you bite off more than you can chew? You more than likely have and that’s because whenever we are ready to make a change in our life, whether it be hitting the gym, getting better grades, or excelling in the workplace, we want that change to happen right away. However, personality change along with any other form of change takes time. Even though it might be tempting, it may not be the best idea to dive into the deep end when trying to undergo a personality change.
Taking baby steps and accomplishing small weekly goals can be an excellent way toward long-term change. Goals should be attainable and realistic such as inviting a friend to dinner, instead of an unrealistic goal like planning a huge event. Goals are more effective when they are actionable and have clear and concrete instructions on how to behave (such as calling a particular friend once a week to catch up) as opposed to a general frame (talking more to people). Lastly, goals are effective when they are pursued persistently. Goals should be made readily and pursued for a long time in order for effective change to take place. Remember, don’t give up.
Fake it till you make it
Imitating the type of personality change you want to exhibit can be quite effective. This means that simply committing to acting the part can result in yielding eventual change in one’s personality. For example, an introverted person would act extroverted when around people in any given social setting (classroom, work, parties). Through repetitiously playing the part, eventually, these actions become natural.
Review the beliefs you have about yourself
Simply believing the notion that you cannot change and seeing everything in fixed terms makes personality change more difficult. Having self-limiting beliefs can heavily impede personality change, so it’s important to think of traits as being on a spectrum. When people see their personality traits as fixed, it affects the way they act. For example, if you are trying to become more extroverted or outgoing, but think that your shyness is a permanent trait, you will never fully try to become more social.
Therefore, it is necessary to have a growth mindset, where you believe that your personality traits can change as opposed to thinking of them as permanent characteristics. Having this mindset can lead to you having a more hopeful and productive lifestyle. So, an introverted person with this mindset who is looking to become more outgoing will believe that their traits are malleable, thus making it a lot more likely for them to make an effort towards being sociable.
Get help from others
The journey of personality change should not be done alone. It’s always a great idea to get as many people as you can to support you through this process of change. This can be done through a professional process where a therapist can formally coach a client on how best to implement positive personality change. Or a less formal route can be taken by having friends, colleagues, or family help you. Either way, it’s much better to have others there to hold you accountable through the process of change than doing it all alone.
It’s important to remember that personality change is a process. It’s not easy. However, if you practice the steps listed above, actual change can result. So don’t get easily discouraged. Stay focused, determined, and committed. Trust the process.
References
Egloff, B., Specht, J., & Schmukle, S.C. (2011) Stability and Change of Personality Across the Life Course: The Impact of Age and Major Life Events on Mean-Level and Rank-Order Stability of the Big Five. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology., 101(4):862–882. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024950
Hudson, N. W. (2021). Does successfully changing personality traits via intervention require that participants be autonomously motivated to change? Journal of Research in Personality., 95(104160), 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2021.104160
Jacques-Hamilton, R., Sun, J., & Smillie, L. D. (2018). Costs and benefits of acting extraverted: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General., 148(9), 1538–1556. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000516
