Improve your Romantic Relationships this Valentine`s Day

We all have a need for emotional connection, bonding and a sense of belonging. We satisfy this need through our romantic partners, family, friends, and daily interactions. Research studies show that people who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher self-esteem, and that solid social connections strengthen the immune system, helping individuals to recover faster from illness.

1. Give hugs! Hugs produce oxytocin in your body, the hormone that stimulates bonding between a mother and her baby. This hormone decreases feelings anxiety and promotes feelings of love and connection.
2. Use “soft eyes”as you make eye contact and think: I care about you, you are important to me. “Soft eyes” are a special way of looking into other peoples’ eyes with kindness and love that increases connection and bonding. You can do this with your partner, friend, child and even pets.
3. Spend time having fun and doing activities with the important people in your life, for example, going for a walk, cooking or playing. It doesn’t really matter what the activity is as long as they are enjoyed by all.
4. There are various ways to show love. You can use verbal and physical expressions of love as you acknowledge the good in the other, offer your help with practical tasks or chores that need to be done or provide material objects to meet the needs of the person you love. Try learning the preferences of the significant people in your life when it comes to giving and receiving affection
5. Take care of yourself. In order to have positive and rewarding relationships with others you must have your basic needs met. Eat healthy, exercise, get adequate sleep and engage in activities that you enjoy and will give you positive energy. You will be in better shape to shine and create a positive environment around you.
6. Feel gratitude. Feeling grateful for what is going well in your life dissipates negative thoughts and emotions and brings about a positive state of mind. It can also help you to analyze your relationship problems from a more positive perspective. Try keeping a journal where you list three things that went well each day and for which you feel grateful.

When people suffer from depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders or other mental health issues, it usually affects the quality of their relationships. They may not be able to establish or maintain loving, joyful and fulfilling relationships. In cases like these it is recommended to seek help from a mental health professional. Mental illness is not a weakness of character; it is the combination of genes and life situations that trigger a certain disorder. Mental health is not a luxury, it is a necessity and all humans have the right to seek treatment.

Submitted by Dr. Silvina Galperin, Clinical and Counselling Psychologist. Dr. Galperin is a Registered Psychologist, Certified in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Emotion-Focused Therapy.